Living in Mexico - Archives: November 2005
Sunday, November 6, 2005
Today’s post will be different! Yes, I know I must have made the very same wishful promise several times already over the years this blog has been in existence, but today it’s for real, I swear!
My dear Reader, do not be afraid but I will ask you to contribute some anecdotes along the lines of what you’ll discover further below. The best stories received by e-mail or left as comments will be published inside my blog and find their rightful place into posterity (I’m convinced there is a dark corner with plenty of cobwebs in posterity where this blog will gather dust in company of that fabulous US$59.95 abs-enhancing contraption presented on TV in the middle of the night).
So here goes the theme I have chosen for your sarcastic entertainment on this sunny day of November: “You know you have lived too long in Mexico City when”:
- That “niña bien” that you love dearly tell you “I’ll call you tomorrow” and you think “on Saturday? Sure, I can peacefully keep my mobile charging all day!”
- You see three missed calls on your cellular for that said Saturday and you know it wasn’t her but that telemarketing call center that sells credit cards (the fact that all the calls were anonymous is sort of a give-away)
- You aren’t surprised the slightest bit that at 1:00AM on Saturday the house of the administrator of your condominium is still blurting out popular Mexican tunes for her party, while a month ago she had security stop you from mowing your postage-stamp size lawn at 1:00PM because it “caused too much noise during her Saturday family lunch”
- While driving on the highway you see a dark spot far ahead of you on the pavement and you think “yet another stray dog that finished as hamburger-carpet when its destiny met the trajectory of the late bus from Toluca… (may the Aztec God of stray dogs give it better food in dogs-heaven than down here!)”
- An employee tells you that his task critical to the success of the project will be finished “ahorita” and you immediately rush to your Outlook to set daily reminders for checking his progress over the next three weeks it will actually take him to finish his work, with the help of your daily nagging of course
- A prospective customer repeatedly says “yes, I’m interested” and “such great technology” in counterpoint (with wet eyes and all the talent of a Shakespearian stage actor) during your sales presentation, and you already make a mental note of putting a low probability for that opportunity in your CRM system
- That same client calls you out of the blue 8 months later and wants to see you in their office located near the exit to Cuernavaca for a meeting at 4PM on Friday and you feel the whole world collapsing around you: “Jesus, 3 hours in bumper-to-bumper traffic to get there from Bosques de las Lomas, only to find out they are still enjoying Friday afternoon lunch… (sigh, re-sigh and deep sigh)”
- You finally made it to the meeting at 5:30PM (just as the customer’s team got back from their lunch break) and you listen to their six fuzzy requirements for that mission critical high-budget project when suddenly a cold shiver shakes you from head to toes – deep down, you know they will ask you for a quotation that must be ready on Monday or you’ll be disqualified from the tender (and sure enough, that’s what they request… don’t you hate that gift to foresee the future sometimes?)
- While taking a bus tour in Australia with a couple of Mexican newlyweds, an Asian girl faints during the journey and you witness your American fellow tourists jumping to give her first aid, whereas the Mexican sweethearts scramble on the nearest seats to get a better vantage point of the drama, and you instinctively follow suit (shame on you)!
- That male acquaintance of yours turns up at the disco on Saturday night with a different girlfriend than during the barbecue on Saturday afternoon, and you don’t even raise an eyebrow (perhaps you should learn and start doing the same? Never mind it’s against your nature, as the saying goes “in Rome, do as Romans do”)
- But the ultimate proof you have spent way too much time in residence in “El Defectuoso” is that you are able to smile about all these stories, write about them in your blog and even have the nerve to solicit more anecdotes of that ilk from your innocent Readers!
