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11/06/2005 Archived Entry: "You know you have lived too long in Mexico City when..."
Today’s post will be different! Yes, I know I must have made the very same wishful promise several times already over the years this blog has been in existence, but today it’s for real, I swear!
My dear Reader, do not be afraid but I will ask you to contribute some anecdotes along the lines of what you’ll discover further below. The best stories received by e-mail or left as comments will be published inside my blog and find their rightful place into posterity (I’m convinced there is a dark corner with plenty of cobwebs in posterity where this blog will gather dust in company of that fabulous US$59.95 abs-enhancing contraption presented on TV in the middle of the night).
So here goes the theme I have chosen for your sarcastic entertainment on this sunny day of November: “You know you have lived too long in Mexico City when”:
- That “niña bien” that you love dearly tell you “I’ll call you tomorrow” and you think “on Saturday? Sure, I can peacefully keep my mobile charging all day!”
- You see three missed calls on your cellular for that said Saturday and you know it wasn’t her but that telemarketing call center that sells credit cards (the fact that all the calls were anonymous is sort of a give-away)
- You aren’t surprised the slightest bit that at 1:00AM on Saturday the house of the administrator of your condominium is still blurting out popular Mexican tunes for her party, while a month ago she had security stop you from mowing your postage-stamp size lawn at 1:00PM because it “caused too much noise during her Saturday family lunch”
- While driving on the highway you see a dark spot far ahead of you on the pavement and you think “yet another stray dog that finished as hamburger-carpet when its destiny met the trajectory of the late bus from Toluca… (may the Aztec God of stray dogs give it better food in dogs-heaven than down here!)”
- An employee tells you that his task critical to the success of the project will be finished “ahorita” and you immediately rush to your Outlook to set daily reminders for checking his progress over the next three weeks it will actually take him to finish his work, with the help of your daily nagging of course
- A prospective customer repeatedly says “yes, I’m interested” and “such great technology” in counterpoint (with wet eyes and all the talent of a Shakespearian stage actor) during your sales presentation, and you already make a mental note of putting a low probability for that opportunity in your CRM system
- That same client calls you out of the blue 8 months later and wants to see you in their office located near the exit to Cuernavaca for a meeting at 4PM on Friday and you feel the whole world collapsing around you: “Jesus, 3 hours in bumper-to-bumper traffic to get there from Bosques de las Lomas, only to find out they are still enjoying Friday afternoon lunch… (sigh, re-sigh and deep sigh)”
- You finally made it to the meeting at 5:30PM (just as the customer’s team got back from their lunch break) and you listen to their six fuzzy requirements for that mission critical high-budget project when suddenly a cold shiver shakes you from head to toes – deep down, you know they will ask you for a quotation that must be ready on Monday or you’ll be disqualified from the tender (and sure enough, that’s what they request… don’t you hate that gift to foresee the future sometimes?)
- While taking a bus tour in Australia with a couple of Mexican newlyweds, an Asian girl faints during the journey and you witness your American fellow tourists jumping to give her first aid, whereas the Mexican sweethearts scramble on the nearest seats to get a better vantage point of the drama, and you instinctively follow suit (shame on you)!
- That male acquaintance of yours turns up at the disco on Saturday night with a different girlfriend than during the barbecue on Saturday afternoon, and you don’t even raise an eyebrow (perhaps you should learn and start doing the same? Never mind it’s against your nature, as the saying goes “in Rome, do as Romans do”)
- But the ultimate proof you have spent way too much time in residence in “El Defectuoso” is that you are able to smile about all these stories, write about them in your blog and even have the nerve to solicit more anecdotes of that ilk from your innocent Readers!
Replies: 9 comments
WHERE ARE YOU?
Posted by WHERE ARE YOU? @ 01/10/2006 09:54 AM MEX
Nice blog. keep up the good work. i sure will regularly be coming back. You can check out my blog
Solomon's voip world devoted to voip technology and internet telephony.
Posted by solomon @ 12/03/2005 02:45 AM MEX
:)
Posted by :) @ 11/27/2005 05:14 PM MEX
I lived in ´Mexico for 6 years, and in my opinion you get treated equally as you treat others. During my time in Mexico I found a great place, great people, great culture and a great chance to make my life as happy as ever.
I also have friends from a lot of different countries who used to live there or live still there, they all love Mexico.
I have friends from different economic and cultural statuses and they are all warm people, they are all honest, loyal, and sincere.
Honestly I wonder which Mexico you are living in, I think people who can not adapt in Mexico are unable to adapt anywhere else, maybe you are one of those "special people" that deserves only but themselves.
Great blog !
Posted by Luka @ 11/22/2005 06:45 PM MEX
Just found this site. I'm from Mexico... Monterrey.
I love to know what people from "outside" think of Mexico, so I like what I read (your posts). Never been in Mexico City, though.
C-ya, I'll continue reading ;)
Posted by Liz @ 11/20/2005 12:57 AM MEX
I guess I'll keep posting!
-When you automatically set money aside to take to your drivers license application appointment as a bribe so that you don't have to take the actual driving test.
-When you automatically set money (bribe) aside to give to the building inspectors who may want to shut down your construction site if it is out of codes.
- When you think of getting on the subway at once as transportation and free recreation ("accidentally" touching the people standing around you like sardines in a can)
- When you view taking your yellow lab for a swim at the local lake as a 2 step process: 1- The dog swims, 2- You give your dog a disinfectant bath
- When you grab a rock prior to going for a walk on the street to throw at potentially aggressive stray dogs if they approach you.
- When you expect the waiter at a restaurant to bring the portable credit card reader to your table so that they won't "clone" your credit card in the back room.
- When you buy a car and you ask if the sideview mirrors have the anti-theft device pre-installed
-When you buy a car and you're excited if the interest rate is below 14%
-When you move out of Mexico City and you cough when breathing clean air.
Posted by L'ombre d'une vague @ 11/15/2005 01:45 PM MEX
- When you park your car on the street and out of the blue comes an obese cop to ask you for his "Cooperacion para mi refresco" so that he will keep the tow truck away from your car. EVen though you parked in a legal free-parking spot, you still hand him 20 pesos.
- When you find yourself as obilvious and disinterested as everyone else that the local leftist PRD legislature is quietlyt trying to pass a double law at once legalizing euthanasia and depenalizing abortion. Issues that take a lot of wrangling, years and clashes in countries like the US and the EU to even legislate on. Also, most of the people around you don't know what euthanasia is.
-You end up explaining to a tourist friend of yours that the full name of the subway system is "Sistema de Transporte Colectivo - Metro" Your friend asks, well doesn't "metro" stand for "Metropolitain" like in Paris? And then you start "no, it..." and then you stop...How come I never caught tht? The word "Metro" is just an ornament to the official name!
-When you go buy Christmas trees and you are not suprised anymore by the vendor saying "Touch them young man! They come straight from 'Canadiensia'" (evidently, the vendor, who had not previously ever heard of Canada, now hears that these are "Canadian" trees, so they must surely come from the great country of "Canadian" (
-You are in Bains Douches or some popular and expensive Paris disco and you are not surprised when your Mexican friends order "Una botella y mesa de pista" (A bacardi rhum bottle for like 80 euro! and a dance-floor side table)
-When, even though you are the epitomy of the Mexican oxymoron and you are very punctual to appointments you end up inviting people to your party thus "Es a las 8, 'para llegar' a als 9"
-When you don't choke when you find out that the people at the Sistema de Transporte Colectivo - Metro came up with new state of the art trains that they are now "dumbing down" so that they can run on the 1960s tracks. Instead of modernizing the entire system.
-When you don't question the person hired by the mall to stand by the car access and press the button for you so the fee ticket will be dispensed. You probably thank God that your fingers won't get fatigued.
Posted by L'ombre d'un vague @ 11/09/2005 05:40 PM MEX
Serge: GREAT post! I should tell you that I emailed the post, along with your name and hyperlink to some friends and they were all laughing in agreement! I have some stories that I will share later when I find some time to write. Very wise and funny entry!
Posted by L'ombre d'une vague @ 11/09/2005 11:58 AM MEX
Hello, mate, from another "exile" who has been too long away from home. I'm in Tlahuac, DF, by the way.
Posted by Ken @ 11/06/2005 10:16 PM MEX
